TO K the Doula. If you’re around, get in touch! Miss you. 🙂
I’m beginning to blog again, but over at LJ. Got o http://charv.livejournal.com to read about the 8 year old Bug, the 7 year old Cat and the 4 year old hound and how much has, and hasn’t changed in the last 2.5 years.
I’m sadly behind, ehre, but I’ll catch up, I promise. Stirrup Queens is hosting IComLeavWe, where you sign up at the beginning of the month, and from the 21st to the 28th of the month, promise to read other blogs who have signed up, and leave at least five comments and return one per day for the week. Fun!
Hello to anyone who’s visited from ICLW. Welcome, and feel free to stay a while.:)
Cycle 20, CD 1. OUCHOUCHOUCHOUCHOUCHOUCHOUCHOUCHOUCHOUCHOUCH!
Not the cramps. Actually, the cramps weren’t too bad. It was the right side. Pullign tugging. I have a friend who had cysts and didn’t know it, that went into the hospital because she thought she had appendicitis. I totally, completely get that. I got about 2 or 2.5 hours of sleep last night, at most, because Ihad to lay in a specific position and not move an inch, or it HURT. I took Adville, and some of ZK
s Tylenol III, [Yes, bad girl], and neither one did anything for the pain. Killled the cramps, but left the pain. I was *THIS* close to running to beg for something stronger, but it finally eased off enough for me to stand straight about noon. About when teh bleeding started, oddly enough. Now it’s tender enough that if I move the wrong way I get a stab, but Ican move and breath reasonably deeply. I’m telling you, onmce we’re done with the TTC thing, I want them to take the works out, or something. Man
You’ll remember, if you’ve been reading a while, that the Cat cut her hair badly enough that ZK had to sheer most of it off, cutting it as short as he does the Bug’s which is like an inch. It’s just grown back enough to look really pretty and girlish. Whenever someobdy saw it and commented on the hair’s length, or asked if she was a boy or a girl, [Actually happened at a DR’s office], she’d blush and hide her head and sware to stay away from scissors forever more. She did stay away from scissors. It was a razer blade [that we thought was out of reach, HA], that proved to be too much of a temptation this time. She cut a small circle, about four inches long. This time ZK’s decided to leave it, and let her deal with the questions. He says it’s not too obvious, but she probably will get a question or two.
Tomorrow is August 25th. The first day of Archery Deer. ZK’s been planning to go hunt tomorrow since … the end of last year’s hunting season. He’s going away for two days mid September, as well, and another week at the end of the month to go moose hunting. I’ve always been glad I’m not a football widow. Now, I’m a hunting widow. All good for the grocery bill.
Speaking of such things, we joined the Fish and Game association for the community in which we live this year. And, upon joining, promptly volunteered to help. I’m on two committees, membership and PR. ZK’s the chair of archery and center fire. Way to get into the community.:) No clue as of yet how much of my copious spare time this is going to take, but I’m glad to help out and get involved. Not least because they have all kinds of family activities, like a kid’s fishing derby the first weekend of September.
I could have put this into the simple pleasures category, except that I refuse to call Laundry a pleasure. I’ve been behind forever. Shamefully, sadly behind. As of today, I’m caught up, or will be in an hour or so. I actually feel like I’m starting the week in a good place. No work hanging over my head such as unfinished transcription, the dishes were done after supper, and I will not have to do laundry, or think about doing laundry, or dig in clothes baskets to find underwear for the kids, tomorrow. Yay, me!
I know, it’s been weeks again. No excuses, okay? Just an appology.
So let me start with the simple pleasures. Grandma came last week. If you’ve been reading me for a while, you’ll know about Grandma. The best Grandma on earth for a kid, but a parent’s nightmare. She’ll contradict you in front of the children, saying “Oh, that’s okay, just let them,” to something you’ve said “no” to, or “Let them have the ice cream right now,” after you’ve told them they can’t have it until after they’ve eaten at least a spoonfull of vegis. It’s nothing personal to me, my mom had the same complaints 30 years ago when it was me and my brother being spoiled. You can imagine the effects on the behaviour of the young ones.
This time, though, it wasn’t too bad. The Bug took full advantage of the laxness of discipline, but the Cat behaved awesomely, having been reminded who she has to deal with after Grandma leaves.:) The Hound was the Hound, no better and no worse. It was actually a fun visit, although she typically did some things that had ZK steaming. They go together like oil and water, those two. Nothing got too bad, though, both keeping temper fairly well. And nothing was mentioned at all about the wedding that we didn’t attend.
When Grandma was here, we went to the City to do some shopping. While there, I got some soap from the Body Shop, which I haven’t done in … shamefully long. At least since the Bug was born. I got an orange soap, two Strawberries, of which I gave one to the Cat for good behaviour, and a Papaya. I actually look forward to showering for reasons other than a few stolen minutes of quiet, and love the fact that I smell the scent of Orange every time I walk into the bathroom. I *Must* do it more often. Surely I can afford 13 dollars every couple of months to treat myself to something, right?
An experience that used to happen often that almost never does now, that I want to get back into the habit of again, [Yes, I know, that’s a horrific sentence], is the DQ blizard. The same day we went shopping with Grandma, I got a Chocolate Covered Cherry one. YYUUUMMMMMM! I WANT MORE!
Let’s see. What else. Simple pleasures. Peace. ZK took the olders to Church by himself this morning. He’d not have gone this morning, he was up most of last night with back spasms, but he had to do a talk. [See the TTC update for the reason I didn’t go.] Anyway, I’ve had a lot of trouble dealing with the Hound lately. He’s far more terrible a two than the other two were at his age, and I was pretty much dealing with both of their twos at the same time, more or less. This morning, though he was a pleasure to deal with. He actually *HELPED* me with the laundrey and the dishes. I think it’s not so much that I’m having trouble dealing with him as that I’m having trouble dealing with him when his older sibs are aiding and abetting, not to mention showing him extensively how to get into new and better trouble.
And decent, fun work. Definitely a simple pleasure. I got recommended by an on-going client to a new client for transcription. Seeing as how I have trouble with the word “No,” I took the job while wondering “Why on earth do I want a new transcription client?” Then I found out that the transcription is all about natural mothering. YES! I’m still doing VA work, and bringing in some good money. Loving it!
So, that’s it. Life’s been amix of the chaotic, [Did I mention I’m having trouble with the Hound right now?], and the wonderful. Exactly as it should be.
So, I’m in Cycle 19, CD 11. And man, oh man, was the last AF truely painful. Oddly enohg, I knew it was going to be a bad one just before it hit. I lived on my trusty Adville Liquigels for three days. It did cross my mind to wonder if every time I had a really bad cycle, it was because of a “big” cyst. I dont’ think so however, since the sharp, I mean really sharp pain on my right side was something I hadn’t experienced before. It kept me up half the night until I figured out I could lie on my left side and bend my legs in an odd position to make it go away. I wonder if it burst?
That’s my other little bit of TTC info. Yesterday, my DR’s office called to let me know that an alternate DR to my regular one had scheduled yet another U/S for me. I guess that right cyst made him wonder, too? It’s Sep 9, Typicaly, it’s the day before my apt with the DR to discuss the one I just had.:P I wonder if they can either rush the results, or at least write some measurement down, so I’ve got something to give the DOC and I don’t have to wait yet another two months to hear what they say.
This definitely goes into the “That’s odd” category.
My children have a bad habbit of digging in the fridge for things and grazing. This wouldn’t be half so bad if they grazed on normal things, like cheese, etc. But they don’t. Catsup has been known to disappear. And Mustard, and Relish. Opa, upon hearing this, in a attempt to spoil the kids and make our lives easier? Gave each child an unusual present. The Bug got a jar of mustard, which is his vice, and the Cat got Catsup. This was meant to be their very own, for them to use.
Not being one to deny my children the thrill of experimentation, I’ve let them follow their whims. The only rule is, no matter what it is they do, they’ve gotta eat it. This has resulted in some odd things. The oddest, by far, though, turned up this morning. Cat enjoyed a nice, refreshing bowl of Fruitloops and catsup, and the Bug enjoyed a fruit loop or two, [a more cautious sort, that one],, with mustard. I think the thing that boggles my mind the most is that they both ate them, without complaint and with dare I say it, enjoyment?
I thought my brother was odd for having syrup on eggs. Hmm. Maybe I’d better not mention that to my kids …
Holy crap. See what happens when I stop blogging? Apparently, I’ve been stuck on cycle 17 for two cycles now. I’m about to start cycle 19, not cycle 18. Why does that sound so much worse?
All right. It’s been a month since I wrote a real entry! That’s a record, for me, I think. One I don’t want to repeat, since the longer you go between posts, the more there is to write and the les syou want to do it. Same principle is letting the dishes build up in the sink.
So, following, or previously, depending on whether you’re using Bloglines or reading straight from the source, are a series of updates. Sorry fro swamping you.
Let’s see. There’ have been all sorts of things that were humourous in the moment, that I knew I must blog, but have long since forgotten about.
The bug is close to reading. We’ve found Starfall.com, and love it. The Cat is too, when she chooses to apply herself to it, but it takes more for her to be interested. Odd, since she’s always beent the one to pick up paper and “read”, ever since before she was the Hound’s age. She also picked up writing letters more quickly than the Bug did.
They’re both getting more into helping Daddy as much as they are into helping me, too. Yestrday they spent 3 hours outside helping him clean up the garage, etc.
The hound is absolutely, undeniably, wholely two. He hears at least once a day from me, generally in a tone of disgust, “You’re such a toddler!” A typical argggggggumement between us is “Want bread.” “Okay, do you want to go in your high chair? We don’t eat bread in the living room.” “No. … Want bread.” “High chair?” “No! Want bread!” He’s also into EVERYTHING. I know I keep saying that. But every time I say it he finds something to get into that I wasn’t counting before. Now, if I’m not looking for two seconds, he’ll climb onto the plant table, and reach up, up, up, I don’t quite know how, to where the remotes are safely stored on top of the computer, which is on top of the 4.5 foot tall entertainment unit. Just an example. He’s also getting less clingy, slowly, very slowly, and will run off and see people now at Church, unless we’re sitting in the Nursery room, which he .. dislikes.
We’re giving pretty much our whole property a face lift. We’re adding a “garage” that’s going to be combination man cave and guest house. That’s what the concrete was being poured for on CD 21. It’s a premade one, or whatever it’s called, and will be here in a couple of weeks. ZK and his dad are also setting up a new shed, getting rid of our old, rickety one. In the process of doing all that, the driveway’s getting moved as well.
Hmmm. what else? I’m sure there’s more, but it escapes me right now. That’s what happens when you haven’t blogged for a month. Writer’s bottle kneck.
Now, on to the TTC stuff. There’s a lot to update here, but no true news, if you know what I mean. To start with, I’m on CD 26, or probably the last day of cycle 17.
So let’s go back. When I last updated, I had an U/S scheduled for Jul 24, and a DR’s apt for Sep 10. So, at the end of June, ZK had a DR’s apt and asked while he was there about my progesterone results. It must’ve reminded my rather slow DR to check, because a couple of days later I got asked to come in on a Saturday for a follow up appointment. This had ZK convinced I was diing, because otherwise, why on earth would I have to go in on a Saturday? I being logical, though, and knowing DR P was going to be away the whole month of August, and was behind anyway, thought they were likely just playing catch-up. I was right. Anyhow, we went in to find out that my progesterone was low. My comment was “SURPRISE!” The DR, finally taking me seriously, did a req for 21 blood tests. Literally. Set, of course for CD 21.
Cd 21 was last Tuesday. Unfortunately, we had to be home all day because we were getting concrete poured. [I’ll get to that later]. Yet one more circumstance when it would be convenient for me to be able to drive, but not as annoying as it could be, since I’ve got another CD 21 before I see the DR on Sep 10.
Now on to the ultrasound last Thursday. If you don’t remember, it was to check on a cyst found at my last pelvic U/S. The cyst was a 4 CM on my left ovary. So the male techy [a whole mindset change in and of itself for me], checked for a bit and then asked to see the requisition again. He said “We’re supposed to be checking the left?” I said “Yeah, why? Is there one on the right?” He said “A big one on the right, and a small one on the left.” I said “Small? Good. It’s shrunk then?” He said “I think so.” Later, when he checked, though, it was still at 4 CM. [Is that small? I’ve got no idea]. He never did say what the size of the one on my right ovary is, but I know it’s bigger.
And that’s all I know. I won’t know more until Sep 10, of course.
So, cycle 17, almost 18, with no answers, yet. Maybe some are coming, though. Not swiftly enough for me.
I’ve fallen into an awesome job. I can’t remember if I’ve written about it here, but it’s with an organization that helps to find employment from home for people with disabilities, along with other barriers to working outside the home. Funnily enough, I didn’t know before I applied for it that that’s what it was. It’s turned into at least part time, and she says that hours will increase after the summer.
I’ve been searching for a balance for the last 7ear and a half. I’ve wanted to have enough time for the house, the kids, mmy husband and work. The first step I took towards truely finding that balance was quitting the article job. That was seven days a week,, starting at 1.5-2 hours, and ending at 3-4 hours by the time I quit. The second step was finding enough VA work to quit doing more than occasional transcription. So, I don’t have to spend 6 hours a day doing one hour of audio, I can make the same amount of money in 2-3 hours of realtime work.[I could start charging more for my transcription. My rate per audio hour is 30, and according to some of the people I’ve talked to, I could be charging at least 40, but this is not a good time for that. See below.] So, my house is cleaner, my kids are happier, I’m genuinely working on the Bug’s reading, and I’m not permanently stressed and grumpy.
I dont’ know if I wrote about it much but I spent most of the first quarter of the year in a tailspin. I didn’t feel like I could get anything accomplished, work was almost always behind, and the kids asking for something as simple as a drink would throw me off completely. It felt like the first six weeks PP does for me, when I have to sit and put my thoughts into slow and careful order. “Okay. Get out the potatoes. Get out a pealer. Peal the potatoes. Put them in a pan. Put water in a pan. Start them heating. Do five minutes of transcription. ;Don’t forget to turn the potatoes down if they boil over.] Take the potatoes off the heat. Take the meat out of the oven. Eat. Do dishes, You’ve got 30 minutes to do the dishes if you want to get some work done before putting the kids to bed. A drink? You want a drink … Where do I fit that in? before the pealing or the heating?” You get the picture. Sadly, that’s not too much of an exageration. Obviously enough, it started to get frustrating for all concerned.
Now I’m feeling far more confident, can get things done without analysing them to death, and everyone in the house’s happier, I think. DH says it’s good to have his wife back. I’ll say.
Have I said “Knock on wood” yet? The loss of the balance I’ve been able to achieve isn’t the only reason losing this job would suck. I’m still bidding on jobs, in fact more than I was, in an attempt to find jobs for the agency with whom I’m working. When I started bidding on jobs last January, there’d be the occasional job that specifically said “We’re looking to outsource cheaply.” Now, they’re predominant. I’m not sure if it’s the state of the economy at the moment, but it’s common now to see something like “Looking for a virtual assistant who has excellent English, can make phone calls, is expert with MS office, can create and maintain web pages, can write blog articles, knows SEO, does accounting, is reliable, responsible and can work to a deadline, works well under pressure, can generally be my right hand. Looking for full time work. The budget is $2.00 per hour.” Even if they don’t say it specifically, I’ve actually gotten messages back asking me if I can beat that rate, or a lower one. One memorable one was for transcription. I mentioned my hourly rate above. I’ve bid cheper than that, going as low as 20-25. One job for which I bid 25 sent me a message back saying “Our best bid is $4.00 PAH. Can you beat that?” My response was “No. If you can get accurate transcripts back, free of spelling and grammar mistakes for that price, fill your boots.” [Keep in mind that a price per audio hour has to be divided at least into three or four to get a real time hourly rate, and that’s with good quality transcription.]
It’s discouraging. I’m truely, sincerely, avidly hoping not to be on the job market again myself any time soon, or I’ll be tearing my hair out,seriously. If it got too bad, I’d have to quit entirely, since this awesome balance I’ve found wouldn’t be worth it for $25 a week. .
So, there’s the positive and the negative right now. All good for me, at the moment, [Knock on wood again], but poor for the field in general. At least if you’re not overseas. I’m sure those in the countries for whom these rates are excellent are thrilled!
Okay, I need to update, desperately, but until I get the time and energy, here’s a couple of snippets.
The Hound’s Prayer:
“Heavly Father, Bug, Cat, Mama, Daddy, Not pee *, lemonade, amen!”
Bug: “It’s both of our responsibility, Cat’s and mine … and the Devil. He told us to!”
Time to teach about free will, eh?
*: “Not Pee” is a copy of the Cat, who firmly believes that if she prays every night for help not peeing the bed,she’ll stay dry.
So, we’re going to a Welcome Baby party tonight for the two baby girls who were born to laidies at Church. [One of those baby girls may be reading this with her Mom. After all, what better thing is there to do when nursing than read blogs? Hi, Baby! Oh, and Mom, too.]
Anyway, when the kids heard we were going, the following conversation ensued.
Bug: Will there be cake for the babies?
Me: I don’t know. Not for the babies, though. The only thing the babies can eat right now is milk from Mama.
Cat: [In that five-year-old-who-knows-everything tone of voice], It’s the sugar. They’re too little for the sugar.
Bug: They could have cake made out of vegetables.
Cat: Yeah! Vegetable cake!
Two days later, to their Opa:
Bug: We’re going to a baby party on Tuesday.
Cat: They’re going to have vegetable cake there!
Opa: ………. Huh?
So, the Hound now pulls off his diaper whenever it’s either wet or stinky. And yesterday, I could swea I heard him say “Poopy coming,” right before he farted. When I asked him if he wanted to sit on the potty like the big kids, he said “Yeah.” The signs are obvious, and I can no longer ignore them, no matter how much I long to.
Potty training is imminent. Much as I’d like to avoid it for the next nine months or so, or the next nine years if I didn’t mind having an 11 y/o in diapers, it’s time. Potty training will commence soon.
Today? No, I like to start at the beginning of the day. Tomorrow? No, we’re going out in the morning. Saturday? No, it’s the weekend. Monday? No, I hate mondays. Soon. Really. I promise.
Let me count the ways in which
So I’m approaching “O”. I finally got a date for my U/S, [Jul 24], and a date for the followup DR’s apt, [Sep 10], Ugh! You’ve gotta love our health system. 2/5 months before I know what’s really going on, if anything?
And the longer this drags out, the more ZK and I sit and go “Well, you know, if we were done now we could …”
I really, really want another child. But I’m beginning to see the advantages to only having three. I hate being in Limbo!
And yet, … *(shrug*.
Well really, it’s a want-to–be-pregnant/want-to–nurse/want-my-homebirth day. The bad want-to-be-pregnant days, I’ve found, are preovulation. The bad birth day is a result of listening to a birth story on a pregnancy podcast and thinking about the joyous story of the on thepodcast. woman. Not a birth choice I’d have chosen under her circumstances, but she loved it and that’s great, and that’s essentially what matters, isn’t it?
The story was about a scheduled section. At the least, it’s reminded me of the advantages of it, since that’s going to be my next course of action. Always, of course, assuming we get to do it again. It’s nice to know when baby’s coming. It’s also anticlimactic, for me.
Even the talk about breastfeeding gave me pangs. Although she talked about the lactation consultants in the hospital being virtually useless. I can relate.:) Next time I’m not using them at all.
Okay, now I’ve whined. It’s time to shut up and be greatful for what I’ve got.:) After all, after the pregnant and the birth and the nursing comes the baby,and I’ve already got three of them to love and cuddle. So many would give anything for that. Gotta go dig the blessings out of the bath tub. I hear chreaking that’s turning from playful to whiny. Gotta stop the hound from drowning the other two.
Before you tell me I’m nuts for writing while they’re bathing, I’m in the bathroom with the wireless keyboard. So ha!
Geesh, I’m behind! Sorry, girls. Cycle 17, CD 5. AF was only mildly painful, and little to medium flow. You really do want to know that, don’t you? No news on when my U/S is as of yet. I’ve called the DR twice to remind them to schedule one, but they haven’t yet. [Can we say frustrating, boys and girls?]
Oh, and on a funny note, I was listening to one of my geek podcasts yesterday. This one happens to be a couple of girls talking about gadgets. [It’s called Gadgettes, and is hilarious.] Anyway, it was an older episode, and they talked about a fake USB pregnancy test. [It had been posted as an april fools joke]. THey talked about these crazy women who post everything about trying to have a baby, and made fun of a couple of the acronyms, cringing in horror at “AF”. I was seriously tempted to send the following email:
Hi. I am a dedicated listener, but must confess myself saddened by your humour at the expense of those of us who feel the need to obsessively blog about all things TTC. It is, indeed an obsession, and we like to know that we are not the only ones who are going through the trials and tribulations of TTC. You see, after reading TCOYF we are often confused about the best time to BD. We need to ask opinions and advice on which CDs we should DTD. We need others to help us examine our EWCM, and once we’re sure we’ve “O”ed, support us through the 2WW. Our DHs often don’t get it, you see. And we especially need the support when we get a BFN on our HPT, or when we POAS and get a BFP! We need the wishes for aH9M, and the hugs through an M/C.
So that’s why we do it. Just thought I’d explain. Oh, and you should hear the acronyms once we’re PG!
[Do you *REALLY* want to know what all those mean?
Char. CD 20, 5DPO.
What do you think, girls? Should I send it?
There are two women who go to my Church who have either already had a baby within the last day, or will within the next week! Yay! Hello, babies!
And I’ve got another new job which, together with the VA job I’m already doing, should make it possible for me to not work weekends, and to stop bidding on transcription projects. Weeeee!
Well, we all know how I love baby shows because I like yelling at the television. Traditionally I’ve thought Special Delivery was the worst of them. But honestly, it makes no bones about what it is, a show about high risk pregnancies/deliveries.
The show that seriously annoys me more is “Amazing Baby.” Some of them are truely amazing, but so many are “OMG! Woman gives birth in car! Baby didn’t die, despite teh chord wrapped around the neck!” It really does turn something reasonably normal into a Hollywood ratings grab.
Oh, the best quote so far was yesterday. Roughly paraphrased, but more quote than paraphrase in a story where a 10 y/o “plays midwife” for her Mom: “If the chord was cut too close to Mom, the baby’s blood could reflux back into the mother, weakening her immune system.”
And then we wonder why the state of birth is where it is today.
So, as stated either in here or the old blog, I can’t remember, The Cat is quite the artist. Only problem is she’s not quite sure where to draw.
ZK told her that the things in his man cave/office were *HIS* and off limits. So, in order to remind herself? She wrote “Daddy” with felt marker on almost everything.
Someone at Church on Sunday commented that I had happy faces drawn on my shoes. I said it had to have been the Cat’s doing, they said that it looked really good, probably too good for a five year old. Upon confrontation later, the Cat admitted to the drawing and when asked why, she said that it was to make me happy.
So now, instead of laughing, because I think it’s both sweet and cute, I should dissuade her from drawing on things. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who thinks she’s talented, though. Lol.
So, this evening the bug and the Cat were packing to go on a pretend hunting trip. I asked the bug what he was packing and he said “A gun, emergency stuff, fishing rods and a map.” All very useful. And the Cat?? “Perfume, a hair brush, cookies and rope.”
Who’s the girl here? Lol.
I’m having cramps bad enough to take Adville for. What different about that? I’m on CD 15, and presumably ovulating. Ouch! Ah, these new symnptoms. It’s on the right side, or I’d be convinced it was that cyst type thingy they’re not so sure about.
On the bright side, at least I couldn’t miss this ovulation if I tried …